Intricately Kareberry

I've Felt This Before

I've been reading my friend's blog for a while now, although he only posts at irregular intervals, but still...he posts. Which makes me feel lazy cuz I don't. Haha. Haven't really been involved with anything for the past year. Since this IS a new year I was hoping to change things around a bit. Not working. I think I have this type of feeling every 2 to 3 years. The feeling that things around you are crumbling, bridges you've made weren't burned by you but are just falling down nonetheless. Feelings of being invisible, pessimisstic, not included. I guess one word sums it up: alienated. If this keeps up, I'll probably be on my way to becoming introverted if I'm not already and sooner or later forget how to be sociable. When did this happen?

I must be in the wrong field or just in the wrong place and time. And I haven't figured out why I think this happens to me in repetitive cycles. Uh oh...so here's where I always think back to God. Whenever I think myself into a corner and can't explain what's happening to me or I don't know why I am where I am, I think about God. Why is this going on? Did you do this? Did you do it again? Have I done it to myself? Are things going to change, because I've been trying without results? Then the big question. Are you looking out for me?

Evidently, the answer in my mind is always yes, God's looking out for me. But I've been neglecting Him all along, not following Him, but I still believe. Okay, so I've been a bad girl spiritually, I'm being broken down from everything I depend on, I'm feeling miserable but yet, I do nothing. Here's the point when I'm trying to be hopeful and think that I probably won't feel this in a few weeks so hold tight. Well, if this is what's happening I might as well be the best I can be during the situation. In the meantime, focus on the work that matters. Then in the end if I decide to, pray that things will work out.

posted by Kareberry @ 9:05 a.m.